Underground Mafias Army

And so, my career comes to an end.

Click “Read More” if you wish to read the rest of this.

Triumph, revenge, they are so sweet, we know this because we have seen first hand what they are like. A symphony and fireworks, that very symphony was recited whenever something good happened, and as for the fireworks, well, that’s a totally different story. Do you see a spark? I don’t. The only thing I see is a fused-out legacy that fell like a looped tower.

The fate of myself is already planned out without everyone realizing it. From the young age when our minds are like sponges, we have to learn and develop, we soak in subconsciously the things we love to do and what makes us happy. UMA made me happy. To think that I hold both my fate, and UMA in my hands is somewhat ludicrous as there is nothing that I can do any more. There are some emotions that even I, as a leader, cannot seem to express through the written word. Words seem somewhat, lacklustre in this situation. There are so many words that I could use to attempt to get my point across to you, but I feel as though I can’t seem to find the proper words in the correct form in order to convey how I feel at this moment. The simplest yet most complex way I can convey to you this emotion is… Sadness.

There are so very many thoughts and vague ideas rampaging and tiptoeing through my head that it’s really rather hard to ensure I catch-all of them and if I do not I will feel a sense of failure and loss of something precious and irreplaceable. My only hope is that it will venture back into my consciousness long enough for me to acknowledge it again.

There are so many sides, so many facets to me that I really can never keep them straight. So many moments I have told myself, “This is it, the moment of my clarity and happiness.” It might be preparing for a battle that we know we are going to win, or some other activity that will fortify UMA in some way. Regardless, these moments are so hard to capture that I wonder if that is what makes them so impossible to describe. If I cannot seek them out, it seems cruelly fitting that I should not be able to figure them out either. I have now reached a point where I feel that I am working out of a part of my brain that I don’t know and thus have no idea what I’m saying, but it seems that I am on the verge of understanding something. I am filled with the want to be so much more, to be so much more profound, but I know that as soon as I try I will get lost and, in correlation, lose all motivation and inspiration to do so.

Did I ever mention that I am a flighty being and easily moved; easily moved to move and then easily moved to stay. It is frustrating when something so admirable is at the same time something despicable. I am quick to fight and so quick to forget why I do, I think most of UMA’s wars prove that. I have not only been coined a tyrant by certain individuals, I have come to terms with myself that I am indeed unsteady and unreliable. I am honestly trapped inside of my own dismal actions, and there is nothing I can do to stop this because it has gotten to a point in which the lever cannot be pulled back. I tend to chase these things and try to enjoy them, and I’m told I should, and sometimes I do, but I fear that either I have not the diligence nor the depth to, or perhaps that I shall only be falling into the trap of what I am told is deep. Both choices are not made freely, but by the opinions and behaviors of others. I am working to make conscious choices and not simply making the choices I ought to.

I must ask that you forgive me, for my thoughts are disjunctive and, as I said before, there are many I am trying to record before I lose this inspiration. Although I do hope that I am being somewhat profound or even the slightest bit productive and not just rambling on about something that will never make sense again.

How interesting that this entire message, this entire idea can be changed so easily should I choose to use even slightly different words from those I am now. Out of the thousands in the English language, these are the ones you will read, though right now, by executing my free will, should you believe I have it, I can continue with this thought or start typing nonsense.

If you’re still reading this, I commend you. This will now be the part that I originally intended to write about and not all of the peripheral thoughts I was attempting to empty from my head.

I lead UMA because I am(was) inspired. Some of the past leaders have driven me to prove everybody wrong. But everything has changed since then, and by that I mean the generation of people who are inside of this community today. Allow me to make something perfectly clear: I do not wish to be part of this mindless, ignorant, hate-fueled community. I was inspired to delve into the army that I desire so much to be a part of, though I struggle to comprehend them at times.

I pinned UMA’s depression on other people, and though they might be part of it, I feel that my passion lies in the uncommon life. The things I truly get excited about, dropping everything to pursue what I love, experiencing as much as possible, seeing my army thrive and learning whatever I can, these are the things that, when I think about them, I suddenly feel that I am not watching the time tick by, but am inspired to race it and not think about posting my resignation.

I have often felt as a mouse in a maze, looking out at the rest of the community, wondering why I am not trying to get out there, but following the path I know to take to get the cheese. Whenever I stop to consider climbing the wall that separates me from truly experiencing anything, the other mice stream by, telling me this is the way I “have” to go in order to get that guaranteed cheese. And times like these, I look out of that maze and wonder if I even want the cheese. Perhaps, should I climb the wall and pursue the mystery of the outside world, I might find the cheese factory. I might, or I might find a mousetrap.

“Daniel you’re not helping UMA!” – I’ve heard that statement so many times by countless people who have a fetish for the mask and chivalry and want to ridicule me. However, if they were to know what I know, there would be a recoil and a cringe effect sweeps the whole lot of them. Though my determination and my vocation come second to none,  I would say that I’ve lost my mojo to lead UMA. I have loved every moment of leading UMA over these past few years, I’ve met some amazing people and I have no regrets.

I have tried to bend my retirement so that it’d become flexible, meaning I could extend my time in UMA, I’ve even tried to manipulate it, work around it, and even those actions eventually come to an end. Whatever happens, tragedy, triumph, they are just moments to be in. More importantly, I have to remember to allow them to pass. Not to stay stuck in something that is over, or I will never grow. I will never learn. I will never see what is next, because I will be too busy worrying about what just happened, and what just happened is over.

I’ve taken into consideration that this will be my last post on the UMA website and should at least give some of the people I have met over the past few years a mention. If I didn’t add you to this post I am awfully sorry, as I haven’t exactly planned this part of my post. But nevertheless I hope you enjoy reading some emotional bullshit that you will probably forget about by the end of today.

Laoise: You are more than my best friend . You are like my sister. Unique, fun, loving, and such an incredible inner soul. You give me something each day to think about, laugh about. You make my day, all day/everyday, and don’t you forget it. You fill a missing piece of my life-like a puzzle, and I just wanted to take this chance to say thank you for all that you’ve done for me. Did I forget to mention that you’re one hell of a leader? When I first joined the Nachos I honestly didn’t expect to stay long at all. But over the time period I was there I watched you leading events and all and then I saw that you were the reason that the UK division of the Nachos was a powerhouse. And when you weren’t at the events then we would fall drastically in size. I honestly want to thank you for being there for me over these past few months. I love every moment we spend together, Laoise. Despite the constant hate people give us for being good friends I’ve learned to take a total disregard to everything they say. You’re not only one hell of a leader, you’re my best friend and I wouldn’t have it any other way. You’re a barrel of joy to be around and always find some way to make my day more pleasant. I know that we’ll be good friends for a really long time, and hopefully forever. I think that a really good person overall. You care for your troops, you care for literally everybody. Aside from those assholes who try to mess with you. Apart from that you’re pretty much perfect. I also think that you’re a better leader than me, which is saying a lot. I would also like you to  remember this: don’t ever change for anybody, because you’re perfect. (: P.s: cocks in tha coup ;_;

Wgfv: I remember when you used to hate me, things have changed, I cannot thank you enough for letting me lead UMA with you. Not only are you my best friend, a brother, a comrade. You’re my duo partner. I have led UMA with you for a year if you narrow down when the duo actually formed. I am grateful for the opportunities you have given me, and I don’t think I’ll ever meet anybody like you. You have helped me come out as bisexual, you have helped me as a leader, writer, and the list goes on. But what gets me most is your loyalty. You have been in the UMA since 2006. You were my motivation, you were the one who made me stay at UMA. Despite all of the naysayers, I never gave up. I also apologize for getting rid of the old UMA site that you loved the most, I really am. I knew how much that site meant to you and I went and deleted it like a complete and utter moron. But we worked through it, we are the faces of UMA today and nothing will change that. I hope that someday you come to terms with how good we have made UMA. Although the army falls into an abyss at times, it eventually gets spat out, and when it does, it lands on its feet ready to take on anybody who is in our way. I can go on and on, but words cannot describe how I feel about you.

Boomer20: I wanted to put you first for a good reason. We used to bicker so much that you wouldn’t even believe it yourself. But do you know something? I have grown to like you more and more over the past few years. I have grown to see you as a figurehead of this community, a person who I can go to for guidance, I’m proud to call you my friend. You have seen me blossom into a rose, a rose that is now decaying slowly. I will hands down admit that you are one of the smartest people inside of this community, and while it may be a hell-bent place, you’re one of the people who don’t take shit from anybody. I love your courage, intelligence, and when you gleefully rub your hands with enchantment when Waterkid comments on your posts. I hope that you do well in life because you honestly deserve it. Knowledge is power.

XiUnknown/123Nico26: Where do I start with you? Going back to our Golden Troop days, I honestly can remember the first time you banned me, and I must say, I’m glad you did. You are hands down my best friend, I’ve known you for so long that you’re like a brother to me, and believe it or not, I’ve had so much fun with you I’m already starting to miss it. Ranging from when Shab banned us from armies, when we used to go under toon names to troll people, and other silly things that we did when we were younger. I hope you do well in life, because I don’t speak to you much as it is, but I’m sure we will catch up if I can get unbanned on Dark Warriors.

Violantealleta: A single, simple, idea drove you to gather the masses and form a force that can be reckoned with. I have only talked with you on a couple of occasions and every occasion we have encountered each other has been more than friendly. You have taught me a few things, and for that I pay homage to you. Despite the negative press that CPAC give you, you will always be remembered as one of the people who stood up against the system and went in head first with a double-edged sword and sliced the heads of those who didn’t comply with you. You will be remembered as a revered leader who doesn’t fear anybody, and a standard-bearer of the Purple Republic flag. Thank you, Vio, for everything.

Coolster114: You were the type of leader to get things done, and I like that. Sure, we have had our arguments, but you must always know that I have always enjoyed leading with you. Our UK division was by far one of the biggest divisions in the UMA. I know that you’re in doubt at times, but you must look forward and know that you’ve done myself and UMA proud. You’re one hell of a guy, and I’ll miss you.

Bluesockwa1: I wanted to list you with my UMA comrades for a reason. You will always be one of my most loyal friends, and I know that during your time in UMA you tried your very best to overcome claims of bias, you tried your very best to do great for my army, and I’m proud of you. I would also like to thank you for a couple of other things. Whenever I write a post I always come to you and ask your opinion on them; why? Because you’re the only person I can ask for criticism from, because I know that  I’ll get the truth. Just like Wg, words cannot describe you. You have also made CPAC into a powerhouse, I mean, let’s just take a look at all of the pawns inside of your monopoly. I wish you the best in life, you’ve been a great help to me.

Bluesockwa2: The same goes for you, Blue2. You’re one of my great friends who I can trust, and get a  straight answer from, no bullshit. I just want you to know that while I may not always come to you, I always tell your brother that you’re a nice person, and even though I’m sure he already knows that, I believe that he should know it more and more, because together you form one of the biggest duos in this community.

Neos: I know that you hate black jokes so I won’t even bother. But let me tell you something right now, Neos. You’re one amazing graphics designer and leader, I wouldn’t have been able to stay at UMA during last summer if it wasn’t for you. And even though we don’t always see eye-to-eye, we get along very well when we’re leading together. I don’t know if we get along because Wg holds our hands, or because we’re just good friends, but either way I’m glad I was leading with you. I hope you do good in your graphics venture, you really deserve to get somewhere other than making graphics for UMA every summer.

Lord Pain: Despite you being fired from UMA multiple times I still view you as an actual UMA leader. I think you’re one amazing guy who is often portrayed by people as a raging asshat. I praise Pain. I hope you do well in life Pain. I know that outside of armies you’re a really great guy. Keep up the godly Daniel stories pal. 😉

Mach: Mach I’ve never really understood you. Like, at all. But you’re one amazing leader. I have seen you grow inside of the UMA over the past few years and I’m pretty proud of how you turned out. I hope that you stick with the UMA longer than Step did. Don’t let me down because I will always be watching over UMA like a hawk… I mean it you prick.

Lots of Pie: What the RUMA did to you was downright wrong, that’s why Wg and I banished everybody who participated in your removal. Yeah, you don’t need to thank us Pie. I mean I look up to you, considering I joined under your leadership. I hope that college goes alright, because you’re one intelligent guy. Oh, and thanks for giving me an excuse to piss Wg off with his nickname.

Niceguy: There will be a day when you wake up and realize you’re tired of playing Follow-the-Leader. Until then you need to carry the burden of UMA on your back. Don’t misinterpret what I said, Niceguy. Because it’s a good thing. That burden prospers and flourishes into a blooming flower. Treat it well, Niceguy.

Step: The same goes for you, Step. I expect you to stay on in the UMA. Even thought you may have a slight mental breakdown when I resign, that doesn’t mean you can leave. That doesn’t mean you can dig for a way out of the rabbit hole that is UMA, but it won’t work, you’re too attached. Stay and make me proud. 

Explo: I sometimes question your motives, Explo. I mean you’re an Irishman who supports the IRA. Who in the world wouldn’t question your motives? I think you’re a good friend, and I loved it when you rant on about the IRA, sing IRA songs, and taunt Derek about the time you got him banned from XAT by linking porn. Good job, Explo.

Pink Mafias: I don’t really know you that well, but I did meet you when both Commando and Boomer came onto UMA chat to question you, and to my surprise, you were the real deal. Before you left the chat I had a conversation with you about the leadership of UMA, and you said I was doing a great job. I can live subtly knowing that the creator of UMA knows about me. Thanks for your kind words, Pink Mafias.

Brownieman7: I know that you love me Brownie, but we have to establish a line that you cannot cross. That line will be next to my bedroom, swine. All jokes aside, you’re a really nice guy. I want to thank you for giving me 2ic during 2012, without you I wouldn’t have been able to continue my venture in UMA.

Draco Joe: You’re one of my best friends, and not once do I regret leading beside you. During summer you and I were a powerhouse, especially when our UK force peaked over 50+. I can safely say you’re one of the best UMA leaders that has ever lead the army. I know that I have said it a multitude of times to you, and you’re probably getting sick and tired of hearing it, but you  actually are. I wish you the best in life.

Lild: You were leader during the summer with me, and in all honesty, you may think that I have never liked you but I do admire you dearly. I admire the majority of UMA actually. You just need to keep an open mind and think just because I get mad at you often it means that I automatically hate you. I am glad to have served with someone as loyal as you, good luck in life Darren.

Derek: I was glad that you were leader with me for a short period of time, it was fun while it lasted. You’ve been there for me whenever I needed help and I appreciate that, hope you do well in life young tike.

Aaron: To be honest when I first met you around 2011 I wasn’t too fond of you, considering you asked me to deface DCP. But as time went on you showed how committed you were to UMA, and I have no regrets about hiring you as leader. Although you got couped, you’ll always have a place in UMA.

And to my home army, UMA. I’m coming face to face with my demons that I have carried on my back for all of these years. You won’t die when Wg and I leave, I promise you. I know you’re all in doubt, I understand, I was too when NP left UMA. But do you know something? We’ve worked so hard to maintain UMA’s reputation, sometimes it worked and other times it didn’t. But do you know something? We never gave up, I had that iota of motivation to keep me going and to fight for my army, and that’s what I want you to do. Fight. Fight for what is right, don’t let other people or armies drag you down into the depths of hell, because that’s not where you belong. Where do you belong you ask? You belong to a podium that stands above the inferior peons that try to take you down. You stand strong, you stand together, undaunted, as one. Do that and I’m sure you will prevail and prove all of the ignorant plebs inside of this community (mainly Albaro) wrong.

Does everybody understand it now? The total endgame? I think now you do, now you have seen what it is like. So I went from being a nobody to a person who is a somebody, in my own right of course. But I’m proud to say that I have been in UMA for all of these years, I’m proud to call you friends, leaders, and soldiers. I’ve come to terms with my demons now, and I’m fully aware of what I have become and what my fate is. I am fully aware that I now leave UMA as one.

As I expected, I used up the morsel of  inspiration I was clinging onto. I hope that you all make something of yourselves, I really do. I stayed holed up in my own little bubble, but do you know something? I don’t even regret it.

Daniel

 

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