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RE: Coolster

Addressing Coolster, that’s about it.

Now I’m sure that each and every one of you know who Coolster is, correct? Sure you do. Now let me being by saying this whole rebellion revolves around him and his melodramatic tendencies. Coolster, you don’t care for this army at all. You point out flaws in our system and yet you fail to point out the flaws in your own dialogs. But that’s where I come in. Not only have you tried to besmirch both my name and Wg’s, you’ve come to our chat for the past few days spouting nonsense.

So here it is, my reply to Coolster. (:

Wgfv and Daniel(Eyes) have both served as corrupt leaders in the past. During the two years of 2011 and 2012, neither of them achieved much, destroying the Underground Mafias Army in their haste for stardom. In 2013, the majority of us, patriots of our home army, forgave them and allowed them to have another chance. Now, 12 months later, the UMA is in rubble and both of them are held accountable.

Let me stop you right there cowboy. For one, the past is the past and that can’t be undone, the only thing that matters is now – and what is happening now doesn’t revolve around your pyramid scheme. As for “archiving” anything, I laugh directly in your face. Why? Because if you can remember a few mothers ago when we were leading our UK division was top-notch. It wasn’t because of you, because you had exams and you were hardly ever on. It was thanks to both Myself and Max, who put time and effort into our UK division. “Haste for stardom” is such an overstatement on your part, and while I admit that we want UMA’s name to be up there, so do you. I would also like to point out that during the summer we broke UMA’s all-time Top Ten placement record.

The people of the Underground Mafias Army have taken the choice to rebel for many reasons.

No, Coolster. The people of UMA don’t want to rebel, they want stability. And while you may argue that kicking us out of power will resolve all of this, you’re dead wrong. The only reason this rebellion is taking place is because you’re too sour to admit that you don’t like seeing anybody else in power but yourself. I think that you’re so self-indulged in your little plot to coup us that you have forgotten how we work. It’s time to face the facts, you’re not wanted here. You tried to coup Wg in 2011 and that failed, remember that? I bet you do.

Since stepping into power, Wgfv and Eyes have had no consistency as leaders. The UMA did good for a period between May-August 2013 and then during February and March 2014, however dormancy prevailed for the other six months. That’s half a year! Remember, also, that they’ve had relative stability. What excuse do they have for their lack of success?

No consistency? When was the last coup, Coolster? When was the last time we got rid of a leader who wasn’t worthy of being in this army? That’s right, we haven’t. You can spread your lies all you like, nobody will believe them. You’re trying to manipulate others into thinking that you’re the one on the right side and we are the ones on the wrong side. Well, it’s not like that, you’re in the wrong. You can try to masquerade behind your distorted motives for all I care, it doesn’t fool me.

They’ve promised to hold elections soon, but the chances are that it will be rigged, from past history with Daniel. Regardless, even if the elections are fair, Wgfv will still have ultimate control over the site and chat, meaning that he will be able to dissolve the government if he wants to. In simple terms, these elections are farce.

You’re right, we have promised to hold elections soon, and if you paid an iota of attention to our website then you would know that they started today. And what do you mean “past history from Daniel”? I haven’t rigged anything. Although you did mention something on chat the other day about me rigging my election poll. Let me make something perfectly clear to you. What I have done for UMA will remain with them forever, as my love is all-encompassing and unconditional for this army. Yours on the other-hand is questionable, you set out to bicker with anybody who controls this army when you are not in power and when called out on it you try and worm your way in with fallacious lies that only end up being tossed into a trash can. I also don’t think you have taken the time to read the constitution, but of course I expected this because you lack any form of understanding.

People get banned for no apparent reason. I got banished for merely stating that the UMA is failing. Others, like Nicjackson, Lootking and Mikey, got banned for leaving the army. Don’t Wg and Eyes have respect for the former leaders of the army?

First, let me put the record straight and point out that this all started when the “no cussing” rule was introduced a few months back. We wanted to make UMA a more child-friendly place for the recruits that were coming in (none actually did, which is why we redacted the rule eventually) to the army. We banned multiple people who always had to swear on the chat which sparked a huge row between the former leaders and the current owners, mainly the leaders. Coolster took this out of context, I presume and started to assume that we were banning them for no reason. But after a stern talk with Wg, Coolster was put in his place. I would also like to point out that Mikey was never a leader of the UMA and was banished for different reasons, which I would happily provide you with if you see me around.

They don’t care about Pink Mafias and Compwiz. This is evident if you look at this picture by clicking here. How can we have leaders who disrespect the creators of the army?

I personally won’t deny this – I detest the creators of UMA. I have my reasons, and so does Wg. Are you really going to question somebody’s opinion of the creators of this army? The very people who ditched us? And I know you’re going to jump back with the “they are too old excuses”, because it won’t stand. RPF still has Commando, which means that both Compwiz and Pink Mafias could have stayed instead of jumping onto Runescape to circle jerk with their other buddies.

Wgfv and Eyes think they have the right to have full control over the UMA. Little do they understand that the army has been shaped over the course of the past 7 years. There are people who have done more than them, but are shunned, e.g. Batista. It’s time for some more equality.

Your erroneous statements get funnier by the day, they honestly do. I love how you’re trying to see into the minds of people who are leading UMA, Coolster. You should perhaps join the circus as one of those freak show acts, I’m sure that you will fit in like a glove on a fat mans hand. “There are people who have done more than them” One again, I present to you that while we may be in an abyss right now, that doesn’t mean we haven’t done anything for this army. I think you’re forgetting your short stint leadership. You know, the one where you retired because of how small UMA was getting? Ditching us for your own army that flopped on its opening day.

I would also like to spread some home truths about Coolster while I’m at it, considering he loves to make up lies. Just over a few months ago both Wg and myself decided that we would make Coolster a leader. At the time Myself, Max, and Coolster were all UK leaders, and to be honest, we were doing a pretty handy job at leading the British division of UMA until I decided to go on holiday to visit my family in Sweden, which apparently, according to Coolster is nothing but an excuse, but in reality it was my only time I could see my other half of my family that lived in a completely different country to me. During the time that I was gone, I had received multiple messages saying that Coolster was inactive and “wasn’t doing his job correctly”, which left both Max, Wg, and Zak in the lurch. I felt bad, of course, and I tried to get onto the computer now and then to check up on things. Coolster knew that I was unable to attend the events that they had set during that time period, and the blame was pinned on me by none other than Coolster. Coolster told me that Sweden was an excuse, then went back on everything he said and said he was “busy” with exams. I could say the exact same thing, considering he thinks that visiting my family is an excuse.

When I returned the UK division was in shambles, with all motivation lost. It was literally dangling from a tether. Coolster did nothing to help at all, and I am sure that all of my generals at the time would agree with me when I said that he was being the most melodramatic leader in the army and setting us back even further with his constantly complaining. Then one night he took it to a totally different level, when UMA’s podium was falling even deeper into the abyss, Coolster announced that he would be resigning from the Underground Mafias Army for personal reasons, he stated specifically that he had exams, once again I can call bluff on this.

<br/><a href="https://i0.wp.com/oi58.tinypic.com/jsejyt.jpg" target="_blank">View Raw Image</a>

Coolster this post above shows that you were never loyal to the UMA and you only pulled this army’s strings as you saw fit. You don’t care about this army at all, the only thing you care about is yourself and your reputation. You have no actual intention of sticking around, you’re just a stick that will be snapped in two.

Coolster’s hypocrisy on show yet again

Coolster going against everything that he has promised – oppressing people who are concerned.

You’re already going against everything you have promised. What more must you say to make the masses believe you? Your ignorant dialogs are amusing, keep on parroting away with your lies and you shall see where it ends you.

Coolster I think that you’re angry because you haven’t been accepted back into UMA. When you, Coolster, don’t slot easily and neatly into UMA’s pigeon hole, it’s easy to believe that you don’t belong. There’s only so far you can walk across the tightrope before you look down at the crashing waves below, and wonder what the view’s like from down there. Perhaps you should find out instead of coming out with the nonsense that will only make you look like a complete and utter buffoon.

Thanks for your time.


5 Responses

  1. […] UPDATE 3:20 PM EST: Daniel has published a post replying to Coolster’s UMA which can be found HERE. […]

  2. Reblogged this on Club Penguin Satire Club.

  3. These hoes aint loyal

  4. It’s ok, this won’t last long, especially with the two of them at the helm.

  5. Coolster, I’m disappointed. How is this for the good of UMA?


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