Underground Mafias Army

Hello, UMA. It’s been a long day. I’ve just returned to the army, and today was the first event that I got the chance to lead at. Let me tell you, I had not realized how bad of a shape we are in until today. This is just despicable. We had 20 on chat and could not even muster 10. I’m very disappointed. But, when I got my leadership position back, I knew I’d have a lot of work to do. So here I am, delivering UMA’s state of the union. I recommend you read this all, considering I took enough time out of my day to write this.

In 2012, UMA was doing bad. Just terrible. And I seized the opportunity by initiating a coup d’etat against Benjarkin, making myself leader. We became a Top 5 army. This, though, may be even harder. We have troops who are constantly unresponsive, who refuse to log on, and who refuse to be rational and listen. This is beyond unacceptable. And the retirees aren’t much better, taking up space and creating side conversations during events. There’s a lot of work to be done, if it wasn’t obvious already. But we’ll work to make UMA a superpower, because it can be done.

For those who are not all that familiar with me, I’m a cool guy. I like to have fun. But you don’t mess with me, because I will take action. I do not stand for laziness or uselessness. If you refuse to listen to me, your loss. I will derank you. I’m not afraid to do so. I’m nice when all is going well. But I’m harsh on anything that I need to be strict on. I don’t care if you don’t like me. I don’t care if you think I’m “mean” or a “bully”. Tough. Live with it. I’m cracking down on laziness and unresponsiveness. Once we say to log on, you have 5 minutes to do so. If you do not log on within that 5 minute window, we will derank you until you do so, and it will count against your promotions. And all you retirees, you can have fun on chat. But not during events. During events, log on or leave our chat, because we will guest you if you cause us problems. Hate me, that’s cool. But that’s the way that this shit will go down. My way or the highway folks.

Now, oh boy. Let’s get on to growth. The next few weeks will be rough. The leaders may be stressed out, so don’t piss us off. The next two weeks will be focused on rebuilding. We will have sessions purely reserved for recruiting on Club Penguin. We will be completely redoing the ranks, meaning a rank reset. That includes an active count. I also intend on beginning autotyping here in UMA, something that UMA has never really done nor supported. Do I really care? Ha, no. We need to grow. We need new recruits. And this is a tried and true way of getting them. A post will be out soon on how to autotype, along with UMA’s official autotyping lines.

Last but not least: Owners are different from mods. Mods are different from members. Mods, you need to step it up as a whole. Don’t just attend events. Recruit. Make efforts to improve the army the same way we do. Owners, you need to do even more than that. Your job is to help the leaders. You are EXPECTED to recruit as a MINIMUM. If you don’t, well, my drama teacher says something often during our shows. That is; “Everyone is replaceable”. If you don’t think helping us out by recruiting is worth your time well, we can replace you. There’s always somebody more willing to take your spot, so stay proficient.

That was long. If you read it all, thanks, and learn from it. If you just skipped through most of it, fuck you and read it all. You guys really need to know that the leaders can’t always be here. We can’t do everything, so do some of it for us. Fixing this army will take more than just the other leaders and I. It’ll take all of us. I need to know that you’re in this with us.

-FIGHT THE BAD-

Zak

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