After many nights of the constant banging of the obese child’s mother, or Waterkid as we’ve come to know him (the obese child) and the many cum-filled good night kisses he has received from his ‘mum’ (cum filled from a long day of sucking my dick, of course.) I decided to step inside his room, which smelt like many of the Hostess Company snacks, ding dongs, snowballs, god I fucking hate snowballs, and twinkies, holy shit you have no idea the tremendous amounts of empty Twinkie boxes I had seen. Anyways, back on topic. I stepped in only to find his diary under his Barbie pillow, and I said, “What the hell, lemme read it.” He had one of those password protected diaries you find in Toys ‘R’ Us or some shit, anyways, his password of course, was ‘I ❤ Ioioluk". You have no idea the many secrets I found:
December 25th, 2013
After insulting my fellow homosexuals I ran (just kidding, I can’t run) to Ioioluk’s house after the outrage of not getting a Hostess factory from Santa Claus, I cried, like a little bitch. Ioioluk and I decided to do the deed. I rode on his bright yellow cock like a goddamn horse screamin’ ‘Giddyup!’ Too bad Roberto came back to get his bag of weed and caught us.
After reading this article, I honestly laughed like an insane little shit, but I realized this: WATERKID IS A HOMOSEXUAL?! After coming to this realization I read further in this diary of his, only to find this.
December 29th, 2013
After crying for four hours because Roberto was being a fucking cock blocker (Niggers, amirite?) I decided to go insult my secret crush, WGFV. After he didn’t play along I cried more! Doesn’t he realize I just want to get in his moose pants? Fucking stupid moose. After that I returned to give death threats to WG. I told him to give me his address so I can ‘kill him’, but I only meant I’d destroy his cock if it continues to reject me and my cock. If I can’t ride it, NO ONE CAN!
My analysis? This kid is gayer than all the pride parades in March across the world put together (sorry WG). This son of a bitch hides his homosexuality by insulting them, huh. So all you gay haters out there (Spi, Andrew) better come out now before I exploit your homosexuality like I did to Wankerskid, oh shit sorry, Waterkid. Thank youRoberto who informed me of Water’s gayness so I told CPAC themselves.
Lild’s day o’ news, over. Remember:
Stay classy Oohma.
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